T'WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,

WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,

 .

 I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,

 A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,

 NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,

 NOT EVEN A TREE.

 NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,

 JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,

 ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES,

 OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.

 WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,

 AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,

 

A SOBER THOUGHT,

 CAME THROUGH MY MIND.

 FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,

 IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,

 I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,

 ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.

 THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,

 SILENT, ALONE,

 CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR,

 IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.

 THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,

 THE ROOM IN DISORDER,

 NOT HOW I PICTURED,

 

THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,

 WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,

 WHISPERED, "CARRY ON SANTA,

 IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE."

 ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH,

 AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.

 "MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND,

 AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.

Billy Cat the 3rd

 

2015 - 2017

Happy Holidays from the Col and the Gang

 

"Savior Down by the Jordan – When Miracles Don't Pay the Bills"

[Opening Scene: A modest campsite by the Jordan River. Jesus, dressed in his robe and sandals, sits on a rock, looking disheveled.]

Jesus: "Well, you know, folks, it's been a bit of a rocky road for me lately. Turns out, even turning water into wine doesn't pay the bills. And those loaves and fishes? Not exactly great for retirement planning."

[Enter a concerned disciple]

Disciple: "Lord, what happened to the heavenly banquet? And the divine catering gigs?"

Jesus: "Oh, those gigs dried up faster than a fig tree in winter. People these days prefer food delivery apps over heavenly miracles. Can you believe it?"

[Jesus attempts to turn a nearby rock into bread but fails]

Jesus: "Guess my divine culinary skills are a bit rusty. And don't get me started on walking on water. I should've invested in a boat instead of those sandals."

[Camera pans to a makeshift sign that reads "Sermons for Shekels – Tips Appreciated"]

Jesus: "Now, I'm delivering sermons by the riverside for spare change. If you've got a few shekels, toss 'em in the offering plate. Your contributions can help resurrect my financial situation."

[Disciple whispers to another disciple]

Disciple 2: "Maybe we should've stuck to the carpentry business."

[Jesus overhears]

Jesus: "Hey, I heard that! Carpentry wasn't exactly booming either. The Romans weren't big on custom-made crosses, apparently."

[The scene ends with Jesus delivering a heartfelt sermon to a small congregation gathered by the river, hoping for some divine intervention in his financial troubles.]

Satan Claus Comes to Town

S

 

I am Cannabis Claus

 In the quaint town of Maryjaneburg, there lived a legendary figure known far and wide as Cannabis Claus. It all began on a frosty winter night when Cannabis Claus, with his trusty joint in hand, embarked on his annual journey to spread joy and relaxation.

Instead of reindeer, Cannabis Claus had a magical cannabis plant named Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer. As they soared through the starlit sky, Cannabis Claus delivered gifts of the finest strains, edibles, and CBD-infused goodies to all the cannabis enthusiasts.

In every stoner's home, Cannabis Claus left behind a trail of calming vibes and a note that read, "Toke up and be merry!" The aroma of freshly ground herbs filled the air, creating a sense of peace and tranquility in the hearts of all who partook.

The story of Cannabis Claus became a cherished tradition, celebrated with gatherings of friends passing around a holiday spliff and exchanging stories of high times. And so, in Maryjaneburg, the spirit of Cannabis Claus lived on, offering a unique and mellow twist to the joyous holiday season.