"Savior Down by the Jordan – When Miracles Don't Pay the Bills"

[Opening Scene: A modest campsite by the Jordan River. Jesus, dressed in his robe and sandals, sits on a rock, looking disheveled.]

Jesus: "Well, you know, folks, it's been a bit of a rocky road for me lately. Turns out, even turning water into wine doesn't pay the bills. And those loaves and fishes? Not exactly great for retirement planning."

[Enter a concerned disciple]

Disciple: "Lord, what happened to the heavenly banquet? And the divine catering gigs?"

Jesus: "Oh, those gigs dried up faster than a fig tree in winter. People these days prefer food delivery apps over heavenly miracles. Can you believe it?"

[Jesus attempts to turn a nearby rock into bread but fails]

Jesus: "Guess my divine culinary skills are a bit rusty. And don't get me started on walking on water. I should've invested in a boat instead of those sandals."

[Camera pans to a makeshift sign that reads "Sermons for Shekels – Tips Appreciated"]

Jesus: "Now, I'm delivering sermons by the riverside for spare change. If you've got a few shekels, toss 'em in the offering plate. Your contributions can help resurrect my financial situation."

[Disciple whispers to another disciple]

Disciple 2: "Maybe we should've stuck to the carpentry business."

[Jesus overhears]

Jesus: "Hey, I heard that! Carpentry wasn't exactly booming either. The Romans weren't big on custom-made crosses, apparently."

[The scene ends with Jesus delivering a heartfelt sermon to a small congregation gathered by the river, hoping for some divine intervention in his financial troubles.]