You're Never Alone with a Schizophrenic

 

It’s all about the GORF

 

In the heart of Land of Gorf, the mythical Jean Guay Strain meets the enchanting essence of Hindu Kush, giving rise to the legendary GORF. This extraordinary herb, with its fiery red hue, weaves a tapestry of tranquility across the land. As the potent concentrate of GORF is unleashed, it becomes the elixir that soothes the souls, banishes dragons to the shadows, and conceals the demons that lurk in the corners of the mind.

Gentle tendrils of GORF's magic waft through the air, bringing a serene calmness to all who partake. It is the secret to peaceful slumbers and a balm for those in need. In the Land of GORF, worries dissipate, and a sense of profound serenity blankets the landscape. It's not just an herb; it's the harmonizing force that makes the world go around, creating a haven where all can find solace and rest.

Wanna see something really Cool?

Oh, hey there, Becky! You know, I was just hanging out, sipping on some double-double, and pondering the mysteries of life, eh? And then you hit me with that "I am Walrus." Classic, eh? I'm thinking, whoa, that's like the Canadian version of deep thoughts, right? Like, move over, Zen master, we got the walrus wisdom, eh? So, what's the story, Becky? Are we diving into the great white north's version of meditation, or did you just spot a walrus at Timmy's or something? Either way, count me in, bud! 🍁✌️ #CanadianMindfulness #EhWalrusWisdom
 

Head on over to Liquid Productionss and see some real walrus pics by Becky Kagan Schott and dream away

in the beginning the Llama was strong and proud, he turned blue.

 

Puffy joins ups for some Witch Hunting

 

All We are Saying is Give Peace a Chance

 Creating a playlist/story around the theme of "Give Peace a Chance" with commentary from current events, using classic rock from Canada, USA, UK, and Australia equally is a unique challenge. 

Here's a 50-track playlist with commentary, each song contributing to the theme of peace:

1. **John Lennon - "Give Peace a Chance"**

   *Commentary:* In a world that often seems chaotic, John Lennon's anthem remains a timeless call for peace. As we embark on this musical journey, let's reflect on the ongoing quest for harmony.

2. **The Guess Who - "Share the Land"**

   *Commentary:* From Canada, The Guess Who emphasizes the importance of sharing the land, a sentiment that resonates globally as nations strive for equitable coexistence.

3. **The Rolling Stones - "Angie"**

   *Commentary:* The Stones' ballad speaks of love lost, a reminder that peace requires resolution and understanding, both on a personal and global scale.

4. **Midnight Oil - "Beds Are Burning"**

   *Commentary:* Australia's Midnight Oil addresses indigenous land rights, urging us to consider the impact of our actions on the world and its people.

5. **Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young - "Woodstock"**

   *Commentary:* Recalling the historic festival, this song serves as a reminder of a moment when thousands gathered in the name of peace, love, and music.

6. **Neil Young - "Rockin' in the Free World"**

   *Commentary:* Neil Young's anthem criticizes societal issues, urging us to work towards a world where freedom is truly universal.

7. **The Police - "King of Pain"**

   *Commentary:* Sting's lyrics reflect the internal struggles we face, emphasizing the need to alleviate personal pain to cultivate a more peaceful world.

8. **Rush - "The Trees"**

   *Commentary:* Rush's narrative on societal inequality serves as a metaphor for the need to address root causes in our pursuit of global peace.

9. **John Lennon - "Imagine"**

   *Commentary:* Returning to Lennon, "Imagine" remains a poignant vision of a world without boundaries, wars, and divisions. Can we envision and work towards such a future?

10. **AC/DC - "It's a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock 'n' Roll)"**

   *Commentary:* Australia's AC/DC reminds us that the journey to peace is challenging, but perseverance and unity can lead us to the top.

11. **The Tragically Hip - "Ahead by a Century"**

   *Commentary:* From Canada, The Tragically Hip's poetic lyrics prompt us to consider our place in time and how our actions today shape the future.

12. **The Eagles - "Peaceful Easy Feeling"**

   *Commentary:* This classic rock ballad encourages us to seek tranquility in our lives, a sentiment that transcends borders and cultures.

13. **INXS - "New Sensation"**

   *Commentary:* Australia's INXS brings a sense of optimism, reminding us that positive change can begin with a new sensation, a new way of thinking.

14. **The Who - "Baba O'Riley"**

   *Commentary:* As we dive into The Who's iconic track, let's reflect on the power of music to unite people across generations and backgrounds.

15. **Blue Rodeo - "Lost Together"**

   *Commentary:* This Canadian band's song prompts contemplation on the importance of finding common ground and shared experiences in our pursuit of peace.

16. **Fleetwood Mac - "Landslide"**

   *Commentary:* Stevie Nicks' introspective lyrics encourage us to navigate the shifting landscapes of life with grace and understanding.

17. **Men at Work - "Down Under"**

   *Commentary:* Australia's Men at Work celebrate their homeland, inviting us to appreciate the diverse beauty of our planet and work towards its preservation.

18. **Supertramp - "Give a Little Bit"**

   *Commentary:* This track reminds us of the power of small, positive actions in creating a more compassionate and understanding world.

19. **Bryan Adams - "Summer of '69"**

   *Commentary:* Reflecting on the past, Bryan Adams' hit encourages us to cherish moments of joy and camaraderie as we strive for a peaceful future.

20. **Dire Straits - "Brothers in Arms"**

   *Commentary:* Mark Knopfler's poignant lyrics prompt us to recognize our shared humanity and the importance of standing together in times of hardship.

31. **The Tragically Hip - "Courage (for Hugh MacLennan)"**

   *Commentary:* Canada's Tragically Hip encourages courage in the face of challenges, echoing the resilience needed to overcome obstacles on the path to peace.

32. **Bruce Springsteen - "Born in the U.S.A."**

   *Commentary:* Springsteen's iconic anthem prompts reflection on the complexities of national identity and the importance of addressing societal issues to pave the way for peace.

33. **INXS - "New Sensation"**

   *Commentary:* Australia's INXS brings a vibrant energy to the playlist, urging us to embrace new perspectives and ideas as we collectively strive for positive change.

34. **The Who - "Behind Blue Eyes"**

   *Commentary:* The Who's introspective classic delves into the emotions behind a stoic facade, reminding us to understand the depths within each individual, fostering empathy in our global community.

35. **Bachman-Turner Overdrive - "Takin' Care of Business"**

   *Commentary:* From Canada, BTO's anthem serves as a reminder that, as we work towards peace, we must also take care of the practical aspects that enable progress on both personal and societal levels.

36. **Cold Chisel - "Flame Trees"**

   *Commentary:* Australia's Cold Chisel adds a touch of nostalgia, prompting us to reflect on the passage of time and the wisdom gained through shared experiences.

37. **Blue Rodeo - "Lost Together"**

   *Commentary:* This Canadian band's song invites contemplation on the human journey, emphasizing the importance of finding common ground as we navigate the complexities of life.

38. **The Beatles - "Let It Be"**

   *Commentary:* The Beatles' timeless advice to "let it be" encourages us to approach challenges with patience and acceptance, fostering a mindset conducive to peace.

39. **Crowded House - "Don't Dream It's Over"**

   *Commentary:* New Zealand's Crowded House provides a poignant reminder that, despite challenges, we can work together to overcome obstacles and build a better future.

40. **Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - "I Won't Back Down"**

   *Commentary:* Petty's defiant anthem serves as a rallying cry for resilience and determination, essential qualities in the pursuit of lasting peace.

41. **AC/DC - "Thunderstruck"**

   *Commentary:* Australia's AC/DC brings the thunder with this energetic track, symbolizing the powerful force of collective action when striving for meaningful change.

42. **Rush - "Tom Sawyer"**

   *Commentary:* Canada's Rush adds a dynamic touch to the playlist, emphasizing the need for individual agency and self-reliance as we navigate the complexities of the modern world.

43. **The Rolling Stones - "Gimme Shelter"**

   *Commentary:* The Rolling Stones' intense "Gimme Shelter" underscores the urgency of creating a safe and harmonious world, where everyone has a sanctuary from the storms of life.

44. **Led Zeppelin - "Immigrant Song"**

   *Commentary:* Led Zeppelin's powerful anthem celebrates exploration and the strength derived from diversity, reminding us of the importance of embracing different perspectives.

45. **Aussie Crawl - "Reckless"**

   *Commentary:* Australia's Aussie Crawl injects a dose of recklessness into the playlist, encouraging bold and fearless actions in the pursuit of justice and equality.

46. **Neil Young - "Rockin' in the Free World"**

   *Commentary:* Neil Young's anthem critiques the challenges of a world striving for freedom, urging us to be vigilant and proactive in protecting the values we hold dear.

47. **The Clash - "London Calling"**

   *Commentary:* The Clash's iconic track serves as a wake-up call, emphasizing the importance of addressing societal issues and working together to prevent crises.

48. **April Wine - "I Like to Rock"**

   *Commentary:* Canada's April Wine adds a rebellious spirit to the mix, encouraging us to embrace our individuality and challenge the status quo in our pursuit of a better world.

49. **Midnight Oil - "Beds Are Burning"**

   *Commentary:* Australia's Midnight Oil raises awareness about indigenous land rights, connecting the playlist to the global struggle for justice and equality.

50. **Metallica - "One"**

   *Commentary:* Metallica's intense "One" concludes the playlist, emphasizing the need for unity and understanding as we confront the challenges that lie ahead in the quest for a more peaceful world.

For those about to Gorf - The Blue Llama salutes you

 

Famous Subjects of the Land of Gorf

Fron Pond	To Pond
During the Gorf Wars on the Plains of Abraham	Guardians Watching the Seas for Spike
Respecting the Nation as Peace Officers	leading the community - Diving the Frontiers
Rock and Rollers	Big Supporters of Canadian Beef

Mickey

Explanation of Prime Minstrel Importance

In a bizarre twist of fate, the laid-back and perpetually stoned Jeff Spicoli from "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" has miraculously become the Prime Minister of Canada. It turns out that during one of his infamous surfer escapades, Spicoli stumbled upon a mysterious time portal hidden in a wave. Accidentally entering the portal, he found himself catapulted into the future and landed in Canadian politics.

Amused by his carefree attitude and unique perspective, the Canadian public, tired of traditional politicians, embraced Spicoli as a refreshing change. His relaxed demeanor and love for pizza and surfing somehow translated into effective governance, with his catchphrase "Hey, Canada, let's chill!" becoming a national rallying cry. In this alternate reality, Spicoli's easygoing nature miraculously solved complex political issues, making him the unexpected hero and leader of the Great White North.

 

I get tired having to choose which demon to fight

 

Army Chicks are doing it for themselves,

 In a whimsical twist of fate, it turns out that the gates of hell had a major infrastructure update planned during the same period when women were granted the opportunity to join the military in combat roles. The demon contractors were all on vacation, sipping lava cocktails in a tropical underworld resort, leaving the gates unattended. As the paperwork for women's inclusion in combat roles went through bureaucratic circles, the demon foreman looked at the schedule and said, "Oh, we can't do any major soul-consuming events during the renovation. We'll have to reschedule for a later date."

So, while some might attribute the lack of apocalyptic events to societal progress and gender equality, the real reason the gates of hell didn't open was simply bad timing for the underworld renovation crew. Hell hath no fury like a demon foreman forced to reschedule.

Time doesn’t Change the Facts

[Knock on the door

Person: Who is it?

Voice: It's Dave, man. Open up.

Person: Dave who?

Voice: Dave... uh, Dave's still not here, man.

Person: Seriously? Dave, we've been over this. If you're not here, then who is?

Voice: No, no, man. I mean Dave is really not here. Like, he hasn't been here, and he's still not here.

Person: Are you pulling another one of your pranks, Dave?

Voice: No, man, I'm serious. Dave's still not here. He sent me to tell you.

Person: Okay, this is getting ridiculous. Where is Dave?

Voice: Well, he's not here. That's what I'm trying to tell you.

Person: I can't deal with this right now. Dave, when you decide to be here, let me know.

Voice: Sure thing, man. But for now, Dave's still not here.

Canada’s Environment Minister bikes to work.

 

Knowledge is Power

Fun fact of the day: February 15th, a day shrouded in mystery, happens to be the pinnacle of Gatorade and similar products' sales. Perhaps it's the post-Valentine's Day hydration rush, or maybe people just have an inexplicable craving for that electrolyte goodness. Whatever the reason, it's a day when beverages designed to fuel your inner athlete take the spotlight. Stay quenched, my friends! 💧🏃‍♂️ #ThirstyMysteries

 

Cost effective Gifting - The Playlist

Once upon a time in the kingdom of Frugalia, there lived a notorious cheapskate named Sir Pennywise. Now, Sir Pennywise was known far and wide for his legendary thriftiness. Valentine's Day was fast approaching, and while most folks in Frugalia were busy planning grand gestures for their loved ones, Sir Pennywise had a different plan in mind.

Instead of splurging on fancy gifts or a romantic dinner, Sir Pennywise decided to create the ultimate budget-friendly Valentine's playlist. Armed with his ancient laptop and a collection of free trial music services, he set out on a quest to assemble the most economical assortment of love songs.

His playlist, aptly titled "Romance on a Shoestring," featured timeless classics such as "Free Love" and "Coupon for Your Heart." Each track had been meticulously selected from the vast realm of royalty-free music, ensuring that Sir Pennywise wouldn't have to spend a single extra coin.

As the townsfolk exchanged beautifully crafted love letters and expensive chocolates, Sir Pennywise proudly presented his Valentine's playlist to his sweetheart, Lady Thriftalot. She listened in disbelief as the sweet melodies of "Discount Serenade" echoed through the room.

Sir Pennywise beamed with pride, declaring, "Why spend a fortune on a romantic evening when you can enjoy these budget-friendly tunes? Plus, they're guaranteed not to break the bank or the mood!"

Lady Thriftalot, trying to conceal her disappointment, mustered a polite smile. She couldn't deny the effort Sir Pennywise put into his thrifty playlist, but deep down, she couldn't help but wish for a little more extravagance on this special day.

And so, in the kingdom of Frugalia, Sir Pennywise's budget-friendly Valentine's playlist became the talk of the town, inspiring others to reconsider their spending habits. After all, who needs roses when you can have "Dollar Store Daisies" and a serenade that won't cost you a dime?

 1. "Sweet Emotion" - Aerosmith

2. "Baker Street" - Gerry Rafferty

3. "Rock and Roll" - Led Zeppelin

4. "Sunshine of Your Love" - Cream

5. "Brown Sugar" - The Rolling Stones

6. "American Pie" - Don McLean

7. "Smoke on the Water" - Deep Purple

8. "Cheeseburger in Paradise" - Jimmy Buffett

9. "Chocolate Jesus" - Tom Waits

10. "Stairway to Heaven" - Led Zeppelin

11. "Gimme Shelter" - The Rolling Stones

12. "Sweet Child o' Mine" - Guns N' Roses

13. "Sultans of Swing" - Dire Straits

14. "Black Magic Woman" - Santana

15. "The Joker" - Steve Miller Band

16. "Ramble On" - Led Zeppelin

17. "Come Together" - The Beatles

18. "Cocaine" - Eric Clapton

19. "Take It Easy" - Eagles

20. "White Rabbit" - Jefferson Airplane

21. "Paint It Black" - The Rolling Stones

22. "Hotel California" - Eagles

23. "Dust in the Wind" - Kansas

24. "Peaceful Easy Feeling" - Eagles

25. "Born to Be Wild" - Steppenwolf

Mooosssseeee

 

I met a girl named Lola

 

If the Llama is blue, it is time.

 

Girl, you be a woman soon.

 

Spike

Spike was born in minds of the few who dared, in a place where few creatures dared to venture. From a young age, Spike showed a natural talent for diving, exploring the ocean depths with ease and grace. He was soon known throughout the sea as a master of the art of diving, and his reputation only grew as he began to venture beyond the confines of the water. 

As Spike explored the world around him, he soon discovered his love for motorcycles. He was drawn to the feeling of freedom and exhilaration that came with riding, and he quickly became an expert in the art of motorcycle maintenance and repair. He spent many long hours tinkering with engines and fine-tuning his machines, and soon his motorcycles became famous throughout the land. 

But Spike's talents didn't stop there. He was also a skilled pilot, able to fly airplanes with ease and precision. He loved the feeling of soaring through the sky, and he spent many happy hours exploring the world from above. Despite his many accomplishments, Spike was always happiest when he was simply relaxing. 

He loved nothing more than sitting in the sun, sipping a cold beer that he had brewed himself. He was a master brewer, with a talent for crafting beers that were both delicious and refreshing. Spike was also a natural handyman, able to repair just about anything that needed fixing. 

He was always willing to lend a hand to anyone in need, and his kind heart and gentle spirit made him beloved by all who knew him. But perhaps Spike's greatest achievement was his role as a god to the red frogs. They worshipped him as a protector and a source of wisdom, and he took his role very seriously. He was always there to guide them and offer advice, and he was never too busy to listen to their concerns. In the end, Spike was a true legend, a master.

Obligatory Human Resources Training for All.

 Memo

To: Loyal Subjects of the Land of Gorf

Subject: Social Awareness Quiz

Loyal Subjects,

As part of our ongoing commitment to fostering an inclusive and respectful workplace, we'd like to engage in a thoughtful exercise. Please take a moment to consider the following scenario:

Pop Quiz:

You find yourself downtown after a meeting with colleagues, enjoying cocktails. During your walk, you encounter an individual dressed in attire that may differ from societal norms. Your initial reaction tends to be laughter. What is the first thing you do?

Politically Correct Responses:

1. **Practice Empathy and Understanding:** Pause for a moment, reflect on the diversity of our world, and recognize that individuals express themselves in various ways. Choose to embrace differences with empathy, understanding, and respect.

2. **Promote Inclusivity:** Rather than reacting with laughter, challenge yourself to celebrate diversity. Acknowledge that everyone has the right to express their identity authentically, and focus on fostering an inclusive environment that values individuality.

3. **Situational Awareness** like the United Kingdom, seeing a man in a dress might be embraced as a humorous event and celebrated as part of the cultural fabric. It's crucial to be aware of and respect such variations in perception. Understanding the local context ensures that our responses are considerate and culturally sensitive.

While it's essential to be culturally sensitive and open-minded, please exercise caution when considering offering shelter to individuals in unfamiliar environments, especially in nations where customs and norms may significantly differ from your own. Safety should always be a top priority, and decisions regarding providing assistance or shelter should be made judiciously and in alignment with local safety guidelines. If you find yourself in such a situation, prioritize your well-being and follow any local protocols or guidance.

Your safety matters, and we encourage everyone to be mindful of their surroundings and exercise prudence in unfamiliar cultural contexts.

Remember, our commitment to diversity and inclusion is essential for maintaining a positive and harmonious workplace. Let's continue to learn from one another and create an atmosphere where everyone feels respected and appreciated.

Best regards,

HRH King Gorf

Midnight Run of the Dispatch Rider

 

Bear, Everyone loves Bears

 

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice