Time doesn’t Change the Facts

[Knock on the door

Person: Who is it?

Voice: It's Dave, man. Open up.

Person: Dave who?

Voice: Dave... uh, Dave's still not here, man.

Person: Seriously? Dave, we've been over this. If you're not here, then who is?

Voice: No, no, man. I mean Dave is really not here. Like, he hasn't been here, and he's still not here.

Person: Are you pulling another one of your pranks, Dave?

Voice: No, man, I'm serious. Dave's still not here. He sent me to tell you.

Person: Okay, this is getting ridiculous. Where is Dave?

Voice: Well, he's not here. That's what I'm trying to tell you.

Person: I can't deal with this right now. Dave, when you decide to be here, let me know.

Voice: Sure thing, man. But for now, Dave's still not here.

Canada’s Environment Minister bikes to work.

 

Knowledge is Power

Fun fact of the day: February 15th, a day shrouded in mystery, happens to be the pinnacle of Gatorade and similar products' sales. Perhaps it's the post-Valentine's Day hydration rush, or maybe people just have an inexplicable craving for that electrolyte goodness. Whatever the reason, it's a day when beverages designed to fuel your inner athlete take the spotlight. Stay quenched, my friends! 💧🏃‍♂️ #ThirstyMysteries

 

Cost effective Gifting - The Playlist

Once upon a time in the kingdom of Frugalia, there lived a notorious cheapskate named Sir Pennywise. Now, Sir Pennywise was known far and wide for his legendary thriftiness. Valentine's Day was fast approaching, and while most folks in Frugalia were busy planning grand gestures for their loved ones, Sir Pennywise had a different plan in mind.

Instead of splurging on fancy gifts or a romantic dinner, Sir Pennywise decided to create the ultimate budget-friendly Valentine's playlist. Armed with his ancient laptop and a collection of free trial music services, he set out on a quest to assemble the most economical assortment of love songs.

His playlist, aptly titled "Romance on a Shoestring," featured timeless classics such as "Free Love" and "Coupon for Your Heart." Each track had been meticulously selected from the vast realm of royalty-free music, ensuring that Sir Pennywise wouldn't have to spend a single extra coin.

As the townsfolk exchanged beautifully crafted love letters and expensive chocolates, Sir Pennywise proudly presented his Valentine's playlist to his sweetheart, Lady Thriftalot. She listened in disbelief as the sweet melodies of "Discount Serenade" echoed through the room.

Sir Pennywise beamed with pride, declaring, "Why spend a fortune on a romantic evening when you can enjoy these budget-friendly tunes? Plus, they're guaranteed not to break the bank or the mood!"

Lady Thriftalot, trying to conceal her disappointment, mustered a polite smile. She couldn't deny the effort Sir Pennywise put into his thrifty playlist, but deep down, she couldn't help but wish for a little more extravagance on this special day.

And so, in the kingdom of Frugalia, Sir Pennywise's budget-friendly Valentine's playlist became the talk of the town, inspiring others to reconsider their spending habits. After all, who needs roses when you can have "Dollar Store Daisies" and a serenade that won't cost you a dime?

 1. "Sweet Emotion" - Aerosmith

2. "Baker Street" - Gerry Rafferty

3. "Rock and Roll" - Led Zeppelin

4. "Sunshine of Your Love" - Cream

5. "Brown Sugar" - The Rolling Stones

6. "American Pie" - Don McLean

7. "Smoke on the Water" - Deep Purple

8. "Cheeseburger in Paradise" - Jimmy Buffett

9. "Chocolate Jesus" - Tom Waits

10. "Stairway to Heaven" - Led Zeppelin

11. "Gimme Shelter" - The Rolling Stones

12. "Sweet Child o' Mine" - Guns N' Roses

13. "Sultans of Swing" - Dire Straits

14. "Black Magic Woman" - Santana

15. "The Joker" - Steve Miller Band

16. "Ramble On" - Led Zeppelin

17. "Come Together" - The Beatles

18. "Cocaine" - Eric Clapton

19. "Take It Easy" - Eagles

20. "White Rabbit" - Jefferson Airplane

21. "Paint It Black" - The Rolling Stones

22. "Hotel California" - Eagles

23. "Dust in the Wind" - Kansas

24. "Peaceful Easy Feeling" - Eagles

25. "Born to Be Wild" - Steppenwolf

Mooosssseeee

 

I met a girl named Lola

 

If the Llama is blue, it is time.

 

Girl, you be a woman soon.

 

Spike

Spike was born in minds of the few who dared, in a place where few creatures dared to venture. From a young age, Spike showed a natural talent for diving, exploring the ocean depths with ease and grace. He was soon known throughout the sea as a master of the art of diving, and his reputation only grew as he began to venture beyond the confines of the water. 

As Spike explored the world around him, he soon discovered his love for motorcycles. He was drawn to the feeling of freedom and exhilaration that came with riding, and he quickly became an expert in the art of motorcycle maintenance and repair. He spent many long hours tinkering with engines and fine-tuning his machines, and soon his motorcycles became famous throughout the land. 

But Spike's talents didn't stop there. He was also a skilled pilot, able to fly airplanes with ease and precision. He loved the feeling of soaring through the sky, and he spent many happy hours exploring the world from above. Despite his many accomplishments, Spike was always happiest when he was simply relaxing. 

He loved nothing more than sitting in the sun, sipping a cold beer that he had brewed himself. He was a master brewer, with a talent for crafting beers that were both delicious and refreshing. Spike was also a natural handyman, able to repair just about anything that needed fixing. 

He was always willing to lend a hand to anyone in need, and his kind heart and gentle spirit made him beloved by all who knew him. But perhaps Spike's greatest achievement was his role as a god to the red frogs. They worshipped him as a protector and a source of wisdom, and he took his role very seriously. He was always there to guide them and offer advice, and he was never too busy to listen to their concerns. In the end, Spike was a true legend, a master.

Obligatory Human Resources Training for All.

 Memo

To: Loyal Subjects of the Land of Gorf

Subject: Social Awareness Quiz

Loyal Subjects,

As part of our ongoing commitment to fostering an inclusive and respectful workplace, we'd like to engage in a thoughtful exercise. Please take a moment to consider the following scenario:

Pop Quiz:

You find yourself downtown after a meeting with colleagues, enjoying cocktails. During your walk, you encounter an individual dressed in attire that may differ from societal norms. Your initial reaction tends to be laughter. What is the first thing you do?

Politically Correct Responses:

1. **Practice Empathy and Understanding:** Pause for a moment, reflect on the diversity of our world, and recognize that individuals express themselves in various ways. Choose to embrace differences with empathy, understanding, and respect.

2. **Promote Inclusivity:** Rather than reacting with laughter, challenge yourself to celebrate diversity. Acknowledge that everyone has the right to express their identity authentically, and focus on fostering an inclusive environment that values individuality.

3. **Situational Awareness** like the United Kingdom, seeing a man in a dress might be embraced as a humorous event and celebrated as part of the cultural fabric. It's crucial to be aware of and respect such variations in perception. Understanding the local context ensures that our responses are considerate and culturally sensitive.

While it's essential to be culturally sensitive and open-minded, please exercise caution when considering offering shelter to individuals in unfamiliar environments, especially in nations where customs and norms may significantly differ from your own. Safety should always be a top priority, and decisions regarding providing assistance or shelter should be made judiciously and in alignment with local safety guidelines. If you find yourself in such a situation, prioritize your well-being and follow any local protocols or guidance.

Your safety matters, and we encourage everyone to be mindful of their surroundings and exercise prudence in unfamiliar cultural contexts.

Remember, our commitment to diversity and inclusion is essential for maintaining a positive and harmonious workplace. Let's continue to learn from one another and create an atmosphere where everyone feels respected and appreciated.

Best regards,

HRH King Gorf

Midnight Run of the Dispatch Rider