Rez Me Sad Tour 2023

 

The Unforgettable Election: A Lesson in Voting Against My Values

We've all had moments in our lives when we look back and cringe at a decision we made. For me, that moment was when I deviated from my usual practice of voting for the candidate that represents my local area rather than blindly following party lines. Little did I know that this departure from my voting norm would lead to what I can only describe as the world's biggest rodeo, starring a cast of clowns that left me feeling embarrassed, ashamed, and stuck between a sea of disconnected, self-serving, and downright absurd characters.

Throughout my voting history, I prided myself on making decisions based on the candidate's understanding of and commitment to our local community. It wasn't about party colors or political ideologies; it was about who could best serve our interests and represent our diverse needs. This principle had guided me well, until that one fateful election.

Little did I know that straying from my local-centric voting approach would unleash a parade of clowns onto the political stage. To the left and to the right of me, I found myself surrounded by a spectacle of individuals more interested in grandstanding than genuinely serving the people. The colors of their political affiliations—orange, blue, red, green, light blue—mattered little in the end. What unfolded was not a political discourse but a chaotic rodeo led by a cast of clowns.

These clowns, adorned in their political colors, proved to be more disconnected and out of touch than any representatives I had ever seen. Their actions were not only unfunny and unexciting but also downright ugly, angry, and, in some cases, ridiculous. It was a parade of absurdity that left me questioning how we had reached this point in our political landscape.

As I reflect on that regrettable decision, I can't help but wonder if any of these clowns were truly worthy of being called representatives. Not a single one seemed to possess the qualities that make a leader effective or a clown entertaining. Instead, they embodied a new breed of politician—depurate and self-serving, each vying for the spotlight without a genuine concern for the constituents they purportedly represented.

The world's biggest rodeo may be a spectacle for some, but for those of us caught in the middle, it's a reminder of the importance of staying true to our principles, especially when it comes to voting. As I navigate the aftermath of that ill-fated decision, I'm more determined than ever to prioritize the qualities that matter in a representative: a deep understanding of local needs, a commitment to service, and a genuine connection with the community. Lesson learned, clowns observed, and a renewed commitment to local-focused voting—because, after all, we deserve representatives who are more than just colorful figures in a political circus.

The Ode of the Warlocks Ruin

(Verse 1)

In a realm of chaos, where dragons dare to tread,

Three warlocks gathered, their eyes glowing red.

One had a quirk, a resurrection fixation,

Couldn't shoot a spell without a slight hesitation.

(Pre-Chorus)

They faced a dragon mighty, scales as hard as stone,

Our quirky warlock pondered, "Can I shoot and resurrect alone?"

(Chorus)

Resurrect, shoot, it's a magical dispute,

Three warlocks and a dragon, oh, what a hoot!

Casting spells and raising hell, in this comical pursuit,

Resurrect, shoot, in a spellcasting brute.

(Verse 2)

The dragon roared, flames blazing high,

Warlocks conjured, reaching for the sky.

Quirky warlock whispered, "Hold on to your hat,

Resurrecting and shooting, let's see about that."

(Pre-Chorus)

Amidst the chaos, spells in the air,

Quirky warlock juggled, with a confused stare.

(Chorus)

Resurrect, shoot, in this mystical duel,

Dragon confused, warlocks acting like fools.

Laughing in the face of fate, breaking all the rules,

Resurrect, shoot, in a magical school.

(Bridge)

The battlefield echoed with laughter and spell,

Quirky warlock's issues, oh, what the hell!

Resurrecting and shooting, a wizardry feat,

Dragon perplexed, facing a comical treat.

(Guitar Solo)

(Verse 3)

The battle continued, a magical brawl,

Quirky warlock's antics, the dragon in thrall.

Resurrecting and shooting, a peculiar show,

Warlocks and dragon, in a laughter echo.

(Pre-Chorus)

In the end, they danced in a mystical haze,

Quirky warlock still pondering, lost in a daze.

(Chorus)

Resurrect, shoot, in a spellbinding jest,

Dragon and warlocks, put their skills to the test.

In this parody of power, where laughter is the best,

Resurrect, shoot, let the comical magic manifest!

Seriously, Islamphobia?

Moses Targeting for the Rockets

 In 2023, the recurrence of anti-Semitic sentiments is deeply concerning. It's disheartening to witness ongoing tensions, particularly with reports of some members of the Muslim community expressing hostile sentiments towards Jews during public demonstrations in Canada over the past months.

The government's response to the situation was issued today, attributing the problem to what they perceive as Islamophobic behavior among the general Canadian population.

This turn of events has left many feeling disheartened and disappointed, with a sense of shame and embarrassment for the country. It's troubling that, instead of fostering unity, such issues have led to accusations and the perception of being sanctioned by the government, marking a regrettable moment in Canada's history.

Navigating Unsettling Realities: 2023 Reflections on Hate and the Unlikely Duty of Santa Claus

Greetings, readers. It is with a heavy heart that we delve into a disconcerting aspect of the current times. In the year 2023, a period that many hoped would be marked by progress and unity, we find ourselves confronted with the disturbing persistence of hate, including the resurgence of anti-Semitic sentiments. Moreover, a shocking development has surfaced: the necessity for Santa Claus, a symbol of joy and generosity, to be armed in order to protect the children who visit him in malls.

The notion that prejudice and discrimination continue to exist in our society is deeply disheartening. In a world that has made strides in various areas, the fact that hate still lingers is a stark reminder of the work that remains to be done. Anti-Semitism, in particular, is a dark stain on our collective conscience, challenging the ideals of tolerance and acceptance that we should all strive to uphold.

Equally unsettling is the idea that even Santa Claus, the jolly and beloved figure who traditionally spreads joy during the festive season, is not immune to the concerns of our troubled times. The notion of Santa needing to be armed to protect children is a stark departure from the image we hold dear – one of a benevolent, rotund fellow in a red suit, surrounded by the laughter and excitement of innocent children.

This unexpected development raises important questions about the state of our society. How did we reach a point where the embodiment of goodwill needs to take measures for the safety of those who come to him with wide-eyed wonder? The juxtaposition of Santa, a symbol of innocence and merriment, with the grim reality of potential danger is a powerful commentary on the challenges we face in safeguarding the most vulnerable among us.

In the face of these disconcerting revelations, it is essential for us to reflect on the values we hold dear and the kind of world we want to create for future generations. It is a call to action, urging us to stand against hate in all its forms and work towards building a society where love, acceptance, and understanding triumph over darkness.

Let us collectively strive for a future where the image of Santa Claus armed for protection becomes a relic of the past, where anti-Semitism is replaced by genuine appreciation for diversity, and where the innocence of childhood can flourish without fear. The journey may be challenging, but it is a path that we must walk together, armed not with weapons but with compassion, empathy, and a commitment to creating a better world for all.

Maple MAGA: Unraveling the Political Drama

In the ever-evolving landscape of Canadian politics, a new term has emerged, sending ripples through the nation - Maple MAGA. This peculiar phrase, blending the iconic maple leaf with the acronym MAGA, has become a rallying cry for those aiming to challenge the status quo. But what exactly is Maple MAGA, and how is it shaping the political narrative across the country?

The Rise of Maple MAGA:

Maple MAGA is a term used to describe political stances, policies, or ideas that are seemingly impervious to defense through facts, stats, or tangible results, according to its critics. It's the shield for arguments that, when scrutinized, lack the substance to stand up to rigorous examination. In essence, it's a term born out of frustration, a label affixed to positions that might appear more emotional than rational.

Political Drama Unfolds:

In the heart of this Maple MAGA storm is the Shitty MP from Kingston, a figure both notorious and infamous for their approach to politics. As accusations of Maple MAGA being rampant within conservative circles gain momentum, the Shitty MP has retaliated with a Trump-like video, unleashing a barrage of accusations against the Conservative party.

The Rise and Fall of Marky:

Marky, the self-proclaimed Clown of the party, has found himself at the center of this political maelstrom. With nine years of being the perennial jester, Marky has, in the eyes of some, shone the bosses' boots and taken on a role reminiscent of a rooster strutting through a retirement home for chickens.

The Trumpian Tactics:

The video released by Marky adopts a page from the Trumpian playbook, using flamboyant language, accusatory tones, and a disregard for conventional political discourse. The spectacle unfolds like a theatrical performance, leaving viewers to question whether this is the new norm in Canadian politics.

As Maple MAGA continues to dominate political discussions, it's clear that the landscape is shifting. Accusations, counter-accusations, and dramatic videos are becoming the tools of the trade. In this era of political theatre, the lines between fact and fiction blur, leaving citizens to navigate the tumultuous waves of Maple MAGA.

As the Shitty MP from Kingston takes on the role of provocateur, and Marky struts proudly in his political retirement home, one can't help but wonder - what's next in this unpredictable chapter of Canadian politics? Only time will tell how Maple MAGA will shape the narrative and influence the political discourse across the nation.

"Jesus, the Eccentric Uncle: 5 Reasons to Reconsider the Kids' Party Invite"

We all have that one eccentric uncle, and in the case of history, Jesus might just fit the bill. While he's renowned for turning water into wine and walking on water, inviting him to a kids' party might not be the best idea. Here are five reasons to think twice before extending that invitation:

1. **Snack Predicaments:**

   Imagine the snack table turning into an elaborate display of fish and loaves. While it's a miraculous spread, kids might prefer classic party treats over biblical fare.

2. **Infinite Storytelling:**

   Uncle Jesus tends to have an endless supply of parables and moral tales. Your party might turn into an impromptu Sunday school session, and kids might miss out on the fun games.

3. **Water Into... Juice?:**

   While turning water into wine is impressive, we're not sure how kids and parents would feel about that particular party trick. Stick to the classic fruit punch for now.

4. **Walking on Water Stunts:**

   Jesus might attempt to showcase his famous water-walking skills, leading to wet carpets and confused kids. It's a great miracle, but perhaps better suited for the backyard pool.

5. **Resurrection Pranks:**

   The resurrection story is a cornerstone of Jesus' narrative, but kids might not appreciate unexpected disappearances and dramatic comebacks during hide-and-seek.

While Uncle Jesus brings a unique flair to any gathering, it's wise to consider the potential quirks before including him in your kids' party plans. After all, managing water-based miracles and divine storytelling might be a bit challenging for a children's celebration!

Girls of the Honey Bun World

The whimsical world of Honey Bun, a unique 13-month calendar showcases a captivating array of sassy and seductive calendar girls. Each month introduces a new character, and their allure is irresistible.

January kicks off the year with a charismatic charm, setting the tone for the months to come. February brings a touch of mystery, as the calendar girls playfully embrace the spirit of love. March, with a hint of mischief, teases the onlooker's imagination.

As the months progress, the sassy and seductive qualities of the Honey Bun calendar girls continue to unfold. They embody a playful and confident demeanor, each expressing her individuality in a way that's both enticing and empowering.

The calendar concludes its cycle in a grand fashion, leaving an indelible impression on those fortunate enough to witness the alluring journey through the months of Honey Bun. It's a celebration of femininity, confidence, and a touch of sass, making each glance at the calendar a delightful experience.

1. **January - Bella Frost**: Bella, born in the frosty embrace of winter, exudes an icy allure. Her confidence melts away any chill, leaving behind an air of mystery as she kicks off the calendar year.

2. **February - Scarlett Ember**: A fiery spirit, Scarlett's presence ignites the month of love. With a penchant for passionate encounters, she embodies the intensity of flames, leaving admirers captivated in the warmth of her allure.

3. **March - Luna Mirage**: Luna, with a mischievous glint in her eye, dances through the month like a mysterious wisp. Her playful nature and elusive charm keep onlookers guessing, creating an air of intrigue.

4. **April - Blossom Earle**: As spring blossoms, so does Blossom Earle. Her aura is as refreshing as a blooming flower, embodying the renewal of life. Her playful nature hints at the vibrant energy of the season.

5. **May - Vivian Veil**: Veiled in an air of sophistication, Vivian captivates with her elegant allure. May unfolds like a grand performance under her watch, as she graces the calendar with timeless beauty.

6. **June - Serena Sunbeam**: Serena, a sun-kissed enchantress, embodies the essence of summer. Her radiance and vivacity bring warmth to the calendar, reflecting the carefree spirit of the season.

7. **July - Ocean Ophelia**: Born of the sea, Ophelia rules over July with a tidal force of allure. Her seductive gaze mirrors the ebb and flow of ocean waves, captivating the hearts of those who dare to look too deep.

8. **August - Ember Blaze**: August blazes with Ember's fiery charm once more. She returns, reigniting the flames of passion as the summer heat reaches its peak, leaving an indelible mark on the calendar's journey.

9. **September - Autumn Aurora**: As autumn leaves begin to fall, Aurora graces the month with her warm and earthy presence. Her seduction is subtle, mirroring the changing colors of the season.

10. **October - Raven Noir**: In the mysterious month of October, Raven Noir takes center stage. Her dark allure and enigmatic presence cast a spell, creating an atmosphere of intrigue and allure.

11. **November - Gilded Grace**: Grace, adorned in golden hues, symbolizes elegance and sophistication. November unfolds with a touch of regality as she graces the calendar with opulence.

12. **December - Holly Harmony**: Harmony, with a festive spirit, wraps up the calendar year. Her charm sparkles like holiday lights, embodying the joy and celebration of the season as she bids farewell to the year in style.

13. **Bonus - Luna's Eclipse**: A special, mysterious bonus month featuring Luna Mirage once more, this time under the enchanting glow of an eclipse. Her allure takes on an otherworldly quality, marking the end of the calendar with celestial magic.

The Enforcers of Holiday Accountability

In a peculiar twist to the traditional holiday narrative, let me paint you a scene. Picture Ronald Claus, a somewhat unconventional counterpart to Santa, accompanied by three rather disgruntled bears. These bears, instead of sugar and spice, exude a palpable aura of discontent.

For those deemed "naughty and not nice," Ronald Claus, with an air of stern determination, leads the trio of irritable bears to deliver Christmas gifts. These presents aren't your typical festive surprises; they come with a hint of consequence. The bears, known for their no-nonsense attitude, serve as enforcers of holiday accountability.

It's an alternative Yuletide tale where mischief-makers might find themselves face to face with Ronald Claus and his trio of irked Ursidae companions, receiving a gift that serves as a gentle reminder to mend their ways before the next holiday season.

Welcome to the Canadian serenade - Hang Loose Baboon Southern Ontario Loves you.

 In a quaint Canadian hamlet, where the maples whisper secrets and the northern lights paint the sky, an unexpected frenzy ensues. Instead of John Mellencamp singing about the simple life, picture a one-armed baboon on the loose, turning the town upside down. The rhythm of the song remains, but now it's accompanied by the wild beats of furry chaos as the baboon swings from branches, leaving the townsfolk in both awe and confusion. The lyrics echo through the small streets, weaving a tale of a primate's unexpected visit, and the town embraces the whimsical escapade of their new, furry resident. Welcome to the Canadian serenade, where even a one-armed baboon can dance to the rhythm of a small-town melody. 🐒🍁

Hello, My Name is Wonder Mike 2.0: Embracing Connection in the Digital Age

Waiting for a plane, Mike alone dares to read

In the ever-evolving landscape of communication, Wonder Mike returns with a new mantra for the digital era: "Hello, my name is Wonder Mike, and I'd like to say hello to the screen, to the chat, the text, and the post, the tweet and the 'gram, encouraging us to connect in this digital realm."

As newspapers gave way to smartphones, Wonder Mike recognized the shift in how we share our stories. No longer confined to black and white pages, our narratives now unfold in pixels and emojis. In this modern rendition, Wonder Mike champions the need for personal connections in the vast sea of virtual interactions.

Hey!  What’s Mike Doing?

To the screen, to the chat, the text, and the post,

The tweet and the 'gram, let's make connections the most.

The purple and yellow hues of yesterday's newspaper are now replaced by the vibrant colors of our digital expressions. Wonder Mike's call for unity extends beyond race to encompass the diverse ways we communicate online. The message is clear: let's break down the digital barriers and foster meaningful connections in the vast, interconnected world of social media.

In a world where screens mediate our interactions, Wonder Mike becomes a virtual guide, urging us to see beyond the pixels and engage with the people behind the usernames. The refrain echoes through the digital corridors, inviting us to rearrange our priorities and prioritize genuine connections.

and interactions are twice as good

As we navigate this digital age, Wonder Mike's hello becomes a rallying cry for more than just a cursory greeting. It's a reminder to seek authenticity, empathy, and understanding in our online exchanges. In a landscape often characterized by anonymity, the call to embrace our shared humanity takes on a renewed significance.

So, in the realm of the screen, the chat, the text, and the post